Julia Louis-Dreyfus is not sorry to call out a social norm that bothers her.
“The Seinfeld alum told host Shawn Evans on the interview series,hotShe believes that “women tend to apologize a lot”.
“Or I apologize, should I say, inappropriately,” the former “Veep” star said in the episode released Thursday. (“Hot Ones” is produced by Complex Networks, which shares a parent company, BuzzFeed, Inc., with HuffPost.)
This topic came up when Evans asked the Emmy winner about a “piece of wisdom” she embraced from her new podcast.Wisdom from meAndWhere I interview older women including Jane Fonda, author Amy Tan and Diane von Furstenberg about how to live a meaningful life.
One of the pieces of advice she learned, the alum said on “Saturday Night Live,” was:No ‘complete sentence’.
She added that she likes that feeling “a lot”.
“It’s a really good idea,” said Louis-Dreyfus. “I think it’s a good idea especially for women, if I’m so bold to say so.”
Louis-Dreyfus’ take on the prevalence of saying “sorry” has merit. The University of Waterloo published two studies in 2010 which investigated whether women apologize more easily than men, and found that they do.
The first study found that “women reported making more apologies than men, but they also reported committing more offenses.” This led psychologists at the university to hypothesize that “men apologize less often than women because they have a higher threshold for what constitutes abusive behavior.”
The second study confirmed this hypothesis by asking the men and women to “rate both imaginary and recalled offenses.”
“As expected, men rated crimes as less severe than women,” the report’s summary read.
Communication and gender bias experts Andy Kramer and Harris noted in 2020 Article in Fast Company That women don’t see “I’m sorry” as an apology.
“Women, in particular, often say ‘I’m sorry’ as a way of showing concern, sympathy, and understanding,” they wrote. “The term is used to indicate their personal attachment, appreciation for the problem, and a sense of care and closeness.”
The problem, Kramer and Harris explained, is that this intention doesn’t translate well.
“Unfortunately,” they wrote, “this custom can confuse the listeners and discredit the speaker.”
Louis-Dreyfus also told host Evans that she also appreciated the advice of another podcast guest, chef Ruth Reichel, to do “things that really scare you.”
In short, if you are a woman who dreads the idea of no Apologize, tell this fear. Or at least, we’d like to believe that’s what Louis-Dreyfus would tell you.
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