April 26, 2024

La Ronge Northerner

Complete Canadian News World

CAQ’s Strange Creatures

CAQ’s Strange Creatures

Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the big top of the CAQ!

Enter this grand tent and you will see amazing creatures!

Astounding! Wonderful!

Never seen!

Take this person who is standing next to me.

At first glance, this worthy representative of Homo quebecus looks like any other human.

But it is a chimera that defies all laws of logic, physics and politics!

Because, ladies!

Yes sir! It could be!

I know what you’re thinking: But how is that possible? It’s like a giant dwarf! An obese anorexic! A carnivorous vegetarian!

Well, there it is!

CAQ’s Big Boss, Mr. François Legault has spent years traveling across Quebec discovering strange and unique creatures!

He gathered them here under his marquee!

Two Siamese twins created by a Liberal and a PQ!

A separatist who broke away!

A Quebec nationalist who is proud to be part of the Canadian nation!

You won’t believe your eyes!

The Fauxmage

Wait, you didn’t see anything: with the help of these amazing creatures, Mr.

Freedom without freedom!

What does it eat in winter, you ask?

Simple!

Fauxmage – Do you know vegan cheese?

It looks like cheese! It tastes like cheese! It has a cheesy texture! But it’s not cheese! This is fake!

With the CAQ, Quebec can benefit from all the benefits of division…no need to separate!

How could Mr. Legault achieve this feat?

By the strength of his mind!

It’s like sex changes.

If you want to change from a man to a woman, you have to undergo hormone therapy and surgery!

It was heavy! The price is high! Penetrating!

See also  40 families affected by the fire

Now all you have to do is say you’re a girl and you’re done!

We’ll assume you’re a girl!

Women can compete in sports, women can be imprisoned!

Without popping pills or going under the knife!

Well, so is freedom!

No more going through the painful and heartbreaking process of polling!

With CAQ, Quebec will be a nation within a nation!

A country within a country!

Quebecers own… rent!

Who said you have to live apart to live apart?

All you have to do is wake up one morning and say “I am free” and it will come true!

As if by magic!

A full show!

So come on, ladies and gentlemen, step inside the big CAQ marquee!

Monsieur Legault explores Venice-en-Quebec by gondola and brings you back the strangest creatures you’ve ever seen!

The next show (neither for nor against, quite the opposite) starts on October 3rd!

Buy your membership card, you won’t regret it!